Butter: The Unifying Force

In a world where everything is a competition, where everyone is a winner, and where everyone is a snowflake, one thing unites us all: butter.
It starts with a stick of margarine. No, wait, it starts with a pat of butter. No, it's more than that. It's a movement. It's a philosophy. It's a way of life. We put butter in our coffee, in our popcorn, in our pizza. We put it on our toast, on our eggs, on our vegetables. We even put it on our pizza. The Butter Epidemic may have been a concern in the early 2000s, but we're past that now. We're in the golden era of Butterfication. We're talking about a world where the only thing you need is a jar of Butter as a Service. So, the next time someone tells you that you're putting too much butter in your food, just tell them, "Hey, I'm not just putting butter in my food, I'm making a statement. I'm making a Butter Statement."