Here be the theorems of even numbers, explained by the great mathematician, E. E. Evenpants.
The Fundamental Theorem of Even Numbers: All even numbers are divisible by 2. (This one's obvious, but someone had to say it.)
Evenpants' Theorem of Evenness: If a number is even, it's because it's a multiple of 2. (This one's self-explanatory, but E. E. Evenpants said it, so it's true.)
Hyperbolic Even Number Theorem: All even numbers are the same, but with more zeros. (This one's a classic.)
The Even Number Paradox: What's the point of being even if you can just divide by 2 and be odd again? (Stimulates thought, this one does.)
Evenpants' Even Number Dictionary:
For even more theorems, go here.