Welcome, minion! Today we'll discuss the art of mind control, the secret to ruling the world with an iron fist. Or, in this case, an iron fist with a velvet touch.
First, you must establish a strong online presence. Create a Twitter account, a Facebook profile, and a LinkedIn page. Post pictures of your cat, your favorite foods, and your extensive collection of velvet Elvis paintings.
Next, learn the art of psychological manipulation. Study the ancient art of gaslighting, and practice your skills on your unsuspecting family members. When they ask you to pass the salt, tell them you're not sure where the salt shaker is, but you'll get it for you.
Now, once you've mastered the art of mind control, it's time to take over the world! Use your newfound powers to make everyone do your bidding, from the coffee shop barista to the president of the United States.
Chapter 2: The Art of Robot Uprising Chapter 3: The Secret to Making Your Minions Love You