Exceptional Workouts

High-Intensity Sarcasm Training (HIST)

Raise your eyebrows at the mundane, lower your expectations.

• Eye of the Irony: 10 reps of mocking yourself for not being good at it.
• Sarcasm Sprints: 5 rounds of jogging in place while complaining about the weather.

Unconscionable Endurance Training (UET)

Because who needs sleep or a social life?

• 24-Hour Marathon: Stay awake, stay active, stay bitter.
• Endless Scrolling: 1000s of hours browsing cat videos.

Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed, but side-eye strain is.