When the universe has other plans, and your plans have other planets, you might find yourself stuck in a vortex of despair. Don't worry, friend, we've got you covered.
Below are some tried-and-true strategies for navigating the existential dread that comes with every Friday.
Avoidance is key. Invest in a panic room, and you'll never have to worry about Mondays again. Or, at the very least, you'll have a sweet, safe space to cry in when the world outside gets too much.
Avoid the existential crisis by turning yourself into a commodified, capitalist entity. Focus on your productivity and turn yourself into a human-shaped hamster on a wheel.
In the face of uncertainty, create your own utopian paradise. A world of perfect, Instagram-filtered happiness. Or, at the very least, a nice, well-designed IKEA.