Why Don't I Have a Successful Social Media Presence?

It's like, I'm just trying to post a selfie and I'm getting 1000 likes, but I'm still not famous. What's the deal with that?

Is it because I'm not posting enough? Too much? Or am I just not good at it? Like, I'm trying to be funny, but it's just not funny.

I'm starting to think it's just not me. I'm like, not the right demographic or something. Like, I'm 32 and single, but that can't be it.

I've tried everything! I've posted at 3am. I've used all the right hashtags. I've even posted pictures of my cat. Still, no one's paying attention. It's like, what's the point of even having a social media presence if I'm not gonna be famous?

Tips for Faking it until you get real followers, I guess.

What are you even doing with your life?
Why can't I just post pics of food?

if (social media == null) {
    console.log("I'm a failure");
}

Thanks for reading, I guess.