Paradoxical Predictions for the Discerning Reader

Warning: these are not actual forecasts. Or are they?

According to our highly trained team of crystal ball-reading experts, the future is full of surprises.

Here are some of the most likely (un)happenings:

• 2024 is actually going to be 2025.
• AI is going to take over the world, again, but this time as a stand-up comedian.
• Memes will be the new currency.
• Underwater biking will be the new sport.

(Disclaimer: these predictions are not actually predictions. Or are they?)