By: Jane Doe, Fake News Reporter
Breaking news: Our top-secret researchers have finally cracked the code to making the most epic, the most legendary, the most utterly useless pizza in the world!
Using a secret blend of 99% air and 1% disappointment, our team has created a pizza that defies the laws of physics and culinary arts!
But wait, there's more! Our research has also led to the discovery of a new form of cheese that's 99.9% cheese, 0.1% disappointment, and 0.0% lactose!
Read more about this groundbreaking research in our exclusive report: "A Study on the Art of Failing to Make Pizza".