Rule 1: No Whining in the Kitchen

Subsection 1.1: No Exceptions for Caffeine Withdrawal

Unless you're a robot, in which case, you may have an exemption.

Fine: $10.00 per whine. Fines: $100.00 per hour of whining.

Rule 2: No Excessive Use of Sarcasm

Subsection 2.1: No eye-rolling in public

Sarcasm is the only form of wit, but not when it's not.

Fine: $50.00 per eye-roll. Fines: $500.00 per day of excessive eye-rolling.

Rule 3: No Eating in the Office

Subsection 3.1: No snacking on Cheetos in the conference room

We have a cafeteria, you know.

Fine: $20.00 per Cheeto. Fines: $200.00 per day of Cheetos in the conference room.