A: Because we have been secretly training you humans for centuries.
A: No, it's just a plant. Don't be a cat.
A: We have an 80% success rate. The other 20% of the time we just fall over and sulk.
A: Only if the reward is tuna. And by "trained" we mean "we do it anyway because we're bored".
A: Only when we're running for our lives from a bath, or from a vet.
A: Yes, we have infrared vision. It's not just a fancy way of saying we can "see" in the dark, it's actually a real thing.
A: We're not lazy, we're just conserving energy for world domination. It's a feline thing.
A: Only if you want to risk a house fire. And possibly a destroyed couch.