According to our team of expert analysts, the apocalypse is not just a myth, but a mathematical certainty.
The latest numbers show that the global supply of cat videos will soon be depleted, and with it, the very fabric of reality.
Investors, be prepared for the worst. We recommend diversifying your portfolio to include:
Stay tuned for further updates, or don't. We're all doomed anyway.
Contact us for more info, if you can still afford it.
Disclaimer: Our predictions are based on highly unreliable data and a healthy dose of paranoia.