Warning: This guide is for the extremely confident, slightly delusional, and utterly unprepared individual.
Step 1: Gather all your eggs (or money) in one basket, metaphorically speaking, of course. Don't worry about diversification or risk management; who needs those boring things, right?
Step 2: Ignore every financial advisor, expert, and sane person who tells you to do otherwise.
Step 3: Invest everything in whatever gets you the most likes on social media, such as:
Step 4: When your portfolio inevitably tanks, blame everyone but yourself. Maybe it's the government, maybe it's the economy, maybe it's the chickens that ate your eggs... just don't blame yourself.
And that's it! With these easy steps, you'll be the envy of all your friends who are stuck in their 401(k)s. Next: You Shouldve Invested in Vaporware