Parental Ignorance

You're looking for financial independence from your parents? Well, good luck with that. In the meantime, here's some advice from our experts:

Dr. "I-Don't-Know" Johnson, Ph.D.

• Just pretend you're still a teenager and they'll think you're cute.
• Use their Wi-Fi, but don't tell them you're not paying your own.
• When they ask when you're coming home, just say you're at a "meeting."

Professor "I-Don't-Care" Jones, Ph.D.

• Just tell them it's all part of the "new norm."
• Claim you're in therapy for "existential dread."
• When they ask for money, just send them a strongly-worded letter.

And if all else fails, just remember: they're just mad because they're old.

Pretend to be older to get started.