Are you tired of being a functional member of society? Do you wish to spend your days playing video games and eating Cheetos while living in a cardboard box? Look no further than Dream Investments!
We offer a comprehensive suite of services designed to help you achieve your wildest dreams (literally).
Start by maxing out your credit card on the most expensive things you can think of: video games, fine art, and artisanal cheese.
Who needs retirement savings when you could have another console?
Our team of expert analysts have calculated that it's more profitable to sleep in until noon and still make it to work on time.
Don't wait any longer! Contact us today to get started on your path to financial ruin!
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