A: Because our IT department is secretly a cabal of cable-wielding ninjas. They're always one plug ahead of the game.
A: Don't even get us started. We've given up. Just... just don't.
A: Ha! Like we're made of money. You'll need to fill out form 27-B, which is available on the 3rd floor, in the supply closet, behind the stapler.
A: Productivity? What productivity? We're a company of highly trained cable ninjas, remember?
A: No. Just no. Don't even think about it. We have a strict no-export policy. You'll be foiled for trying.