Technique 1: The Extreme Stretch

Also known as "Font-Stretching for the Insanely Ambitious," this technique involves applying an absurdly large amount of font size inflation, often causing the text to become illegible. Read on for Technique 2: The Unreadable Stretch

Warning: This technique has been known to cause eye strain, headaches, and in extreme cases, spontaneous combustion. Proceed with caution.