Bartholomew is our Prophet of Despair, a man of many hats, but mostly a man of despair. He has been prophesying for years, but his prophecies have all been wrong.
We're not sure what's more impressive, his unwavering dedication to his craft or his ability to make us laugh while crying.
Visit Bartholomew's Subpage for more on this prophet of questionable wisdom.
We have a few favorite prophetic sayings that we'd like to share.
"A prophet is just a person who has seen further than you." - Bartholomew the Unwise
"The truth is out there, but it's probably in the fridge." - Prophetess of the Inconsequential
"The best thing about being a prophet is that you can be wrong all the time." - Prophet Bob