Forced Tips and Gratuities

Because You Clearly Need to Be Told What to Do

Tip 1: Don't Eat the Yellow Substances

Unless you're a fan of mystery meat, avoid consuming anything that's been sitting in the fridge for more than 3 days. Trust us, it's for the best.

Learn more about the dangers of mystery meat

Tip 2: Always Use a Socks-and-Towel Method for Drying Your Face

It's a real thing, Google it. Don't be that guy who uses a whole roll of toilet paper just to wipe your face. It's not hygienic, it's not efficient, and it's just plain gross.

Understand the science behind this revolutionary technique

Tip 3: Always Check Your Phone for Secret Messages

You never know when you'll receive an important message from a secret agent, a mysterious love interest, or a concerned friend. Don't be that person who ignores their phone because you're too busy to check it.

Learn the art of decoding secret messages

Tip 4: Never Use a Hair Dryer for Drying Your Fries