Fortune 5 Methodology
For the discerning individual seeking to achieve ultimate success and wealth, we've distilled the secrets of the Fortune 5 into a concise, yet comprehensive guide.
Step 1: Identify Your Passion (or Lie About It)
- Be honest with yourself, or pretend to be a graphic designer if it sounds cool.
Step 2: Create a Business Model That Sounds Legit
- Slap a 'Limited Edition' label on everything, it'll sell.
- Use buzzwords like 'Disrupt' and 'Revolutionize' liberally.
Step 3: Leverage Social Media (or Bribe Influencers)
- Buy followers, likes, and loves.
- Post pictures of avocado toast.
Step 4: Network Like Crazy (or Just Stand in the Corner)
- Attend every industry event, even if you have nothing to say.
- Smile and nod at people, it's the same thing as having actual conversations.
Step 5: Fake It Till You Make It (or Actually Make It)
- Practice your fake confidence until you become a real success.
- Sell your soul to a large corporation if it's easier.
That's it! Follow these steps and you too can join the elite ranks of the Fortune 5.