Frequently Asked Questions for the Informed yet Anonymous

Q: Why do I still get my socks wet when I take them off in the washing machine?

A: Because you're still doing laundry. That's why.

Q: Can I really just use a toaster to heat up my cat?

A: Only if your cat is a sentient being with a toaster-based consciousness. Otherwise, no.

Q: Is it true I'm allergic to my job? Why isn't my life more interesting? Why don't I get paid enough? Why don't I get enough sleep?