We, the undersigned, hereby declare that we will not, in fact, try. We will not do our homework, nor our taxes, nor our chores. We will not participate in productivity or any other form of organized activity that may lead to personal growth or social responsibility.
Furthermore, we will not eat our vegetables, nor our greens, nor our whole grains. We will not exercise, nor meditate, nor practice any form of self-care that may lead to physical or mental health.
We will, however, spend an excessive amount of time watching cat videos, playing video games, and consuming an alarming amount of caffeine. We will not, in fact, be held accountable for our actions, and we will not be bound by the chains of society.
Abandon All Hope Justification for Laziness