Gardening Tips for the Utterly Inept

Warning: These tips may not actually help you grow anything except maybe your patience.

• Tip 1: Don't water your plants with kerosene. Trust us on this one.
• Tip 2: Prune your plants like you're trying to sculpt a goth teenager's hairdo.
• Tip 3: Use fertilizer, but only as a joke.

Also, don't bother trying to grow anything in a basement. Just don't. It won't end well.

• Terrains for Succulents
• Soil for Dummies
• Pest Control Hacks

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