Welcome to the Weather Control Ministry, where we're not actually allowed to control the weather, but we'll pretend we do.
We've got a few tricks up our sleeve.
We're aiming for world domination, one weather system at a time.
Our chemtrail program is designed to leave a trail where no trail should be.
Side effects may include: confusion, disorientation, and mild panic attacks.
We're not actually using HAARP, but let's just pretend we are.
Side effects may include: spontaneous combustion, temporary loss of sanity, and an increased urge to watch cat videos.
We're not actually farming crops, but we're trying to.
Side effects may include: mild bewilderment, temporary fascination with crop circles, and an increased desire to visit the countryside.