You know what they say, "Ghosting is like a digital breakup, but with more notifications."
Aren't you tired of pretending to care about the mundane details of someone's life, only to vanish into thin air when things get real?
No more awkward small talk or forced laughter. No more faking it till you make it. No more... Ugh, who are we kidding? It's all just a facade, and we're all just trying to be the most convincing version of ourselves.
That's why we've compiled a guide on the art of ghosting in public: the ultimate guide to non-committal nonchalance.
Start with the classic "I'm busy, but not too busy, so I'll just... disappear."
Or, "I'm just taking some time for myself, and by 'time for myself' I mean, you know, forever."
Or, if you're feeling particularly cruel, "I'm just reevaluating our relationship, and by 'reevaluating,' I mean, I'm deleting you from my contacts."
Want to take your ghosting game to the next level? Try:
Leaving a cryptic "I'm fine" message on their voicemail, followed by an immediate block on all further communication.
Or, send a series of increasingly passive-aggressive "I'm good" messages, only to vanish without explanation.
Or, for the truly sadistic, leave a fake "I'm sorry" voicemail, only to never call them back.
Remember, ghosting is all about setting boundaries, and by boundaries, we mean, "I'm just not that into you, so I'm outta here."
And that's it for today's guide on ghosting in public. May you find the confidence to non-committally navigate the wild world of relationships and human connection.
Or, at the very least, may you find the courage to just be upfront and honest with someone about your true feelings. (But let's be real, who are we kidding, that's just not how the game is played.)
Stay non-committal, friends!