Here are the irrefutable rules of word choices for the grammatically elite.
1. Use overused words with overused flair.
2. Puns are not the worst thing since antipuns.
3. Metaphors are for the lazy, but idioms are for the wise
4. Alliteration is the key, assonance is the goal
5. Similes are for the weak, onomatopoeias are for the bold
Remember: etymology is not just a fancy word for 'word history', it's a life story
Word games are for the fun-lovers, word-muscle is for the strong
And always remember: Word punishments are word-rewards in disguise
Word grammar is not just a set of rules, it's a word-fun
So, word-tips and word-tricks, but always be aware of the word-traps
Stay grammatically correct, stay grammatically-inclined!