Gravity-Manipulation Safety Guidelines
Disclaimer: Do Not Attempt
Warning: The following safety guidelines are not actually a thing, because, honestly, manipulating gravity is still a bit beyond our understanding of reality. But just in case you're a mad scientist type, here's some general advice.
- Don't try it at home, or in a lab, or really anywhere near your cat.
- Make sure you have a good insurance policy covering gravity-related mishaps.
- Wear protective gear, including a helmet that's also a hat.
- Do not attempt to create a gravity well in your backyard.
- Keep your gravity manipulation device away from children and pets.
- Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to use gravity as a form of punishment or leverage for personal gain. That's just mean.
That's it! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go work on my own personal gravity-defying skateboard.
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