Health Concerns - A Guide to Not Dying

Warning: This page may cause excessive anxiety or existential dread.

Are you concerned about your health? Do you have a nagging feeling that you might die at any moment? Well, congratulations! You've come to the right place.

Here's a rundown of the top 10 health concerns that will probably kill you:

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Or should I say, the tip of the tombstone?

Stay healthy, stay alive, and remember: it's not like you're going to die or anything...

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