We are the staff of this forsaken establishment, dedicated to serving you the worst possible service in the world of hospitality. Our rooms are infested with bed bugs, our kitchen staff is trained in the art of burning water, and our bathrooms are a mystery even to us.
But hey, at least you'll never get a better rate than our "Special Rate" which is just a fancy way of saying you're paying for the privilege of being here.
Want to see what we have to offer? Check out our rooms, where you can choose from:
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our
Where our chef will attempt to poison you with our " signature" dishes.
And don't forget to visit our Bar of Bitterness for a drink that'll make you forget all about it.
Or don't. We wouldn't recommend it.