Human Rights 101: The Crash Course

Chapter 1: The Basics

So, you're still confused about human rights? That's okay, it's not like it's rocket science or anything.

1.1: Freedom of Speech (Unless You're a Politician)

You know, the right to say whatever you want without fear of persecution, as long as you're not a politician. In that case, you're just a liability.

What happens to your right to speech when you're a politician?

1.2: The Right to Bear Arms (Unless You're a Convict)

It's like, you're allowed to have guns, but only if you're not a convicted felon. Make sense? Nope, didn't think so.

What happens when you're a convict with guns?

1.3: Equality (For Everyone, Unless You're a Troll)

You're all created equal, but some of you are more equal than others. Don't ask me, it's a paradox.

What is equality, anyway?