You are a genetically engineered super-soldier, created to save the world from an alien invasion that never happened. You've been stuck in this bunker for 30 years, and your only contact with the outside world is through a VCR that still plays the same VHS tape from 1999.
Your skills include:
But your greatest enemy is not the alien menace, but the crushing ennui of existence in a world that's moved on without you.
Get Mission Briefing Meditate on Your Existential Crisis