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CERTIFICATION OF ADVANCED PROCRUSTINATION TECHNIQUES

A document certifying that you have achieved the highest levels of procrastination, and are officially allowed to do absolutely nothing for the rest of your life.

Requirements

  1. Complete 5+ hours of intense research on memes.
  2. Watch at least 3 hours of cat videos on YouTube.
  3. Master the art of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in under 30 seconds.
  4. Hold the world record for most consecutive hours spent playing video games.
  5. Write a 5,000 word essay on the meaning of life, but never actually submit it.

Congratulations, you have achieved the highest levels of advanced procrastination techniques! You may now proudly display this certification on your wall, or in your social media profile, or in your therapist's office.

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