Buying a Velociraptor: A Guide for the Adventurous (but not too Adventurous)

So, you want a velociraptor? Well, buckle up, buddy. These things are not exactly cuddly. They have sharp claws, a taste for revenge, and a tendency to turn on their owners.

But hey, if you're still interested, here's a step-by-step guide to buying your very own velociraptor:

1. Step 1: Find a Reputable Dealer
2. Step 2: Get Prepared for the Cost (of a Life)
3. Step 3: Learn to Pray for a Good Insurance Policy

Good luck, friend. You're gonna need it.