Warning: the line between tan and burn is blurred beyond recognition on this page.
Step 1: Apply sunscreen. No, wait, don't.
Step 2: Stay in the sun for an extended period. The more, the merrier.
Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you resemble a well-done chicken.
For more tips, visit our Overly Ambitious Tanning Strategies page.
Or, if you're feeling particularly reckless, try our Irresponsible Tan Tactics page.
Remember, it's not a tan if it's not a burn. But let's be real, who needs skin care when you can have skin... character?