The following are some of our favorite Illuminati rumors and theories. Remember, none of this is actually true (or is it?):

1. We control the world's supply of cheese

It's a well-known fact that the Illuminati has cornered the global dairy market, and our vast hoards of gouda are the key to world domination.

Read more about our gouda grip

2. We have a secret underground bunker in the Swiss Alps

Located deep beneath the streets of Zurich, our bunker is stocked with enough caviar and champagne to last us for centuries. It's like a never-ending party.

See our bunker's floor plan

3. We're secretly training a team of ninjas

Sneaky, stealthy, and deadly, our ninjas are the ultimate covert operatives. They'll get you from behind your chair before you even know what's happening.

Watch our ninja training video