PARMESAN PYRAMID SCHEMING 101

WELCOME, NEWBIE!

THE RULES:

• 1. STEP 1: GET RICH OR DIE TRYING - You gotta start by getting in on the ground floor. Literally, on the ground.
• 2. FIND YOUR CHEESE MOLE - You can't have a pyramid scheme without a mole to dig the hole.
• 3. RECRUIT WITH SIREN SONGS - Use the ancient art of cheese-based hypnosis to lure in your victims.
• 4. SELL SOME SHIRTS - A good pyramid scheme needs a solid merchandise line.
• 5. NEVER LEAVE THE PARMESAN TRAIL - Once you're in, you're in for life.
• 6. KILL YOUR COMPETITORS WITH PESTO - A healthy dose of Italian sauce can go a long way.

Remember, the key to success in the Parmesan Pyramid Scheme is to never, ever, EVER, EVER, EVER, leave the trail.