The Infinite Looping Strategy

Step 1: Looping Through the Loop

Start by setting your alarm clock for 5 AM. Yes, 5 AM. You'll need to be sharp.

As soon as you wake up, immediately start scrolling through your social media feeds. Not for entertainment, but to establish a baseline.

Next, spend 30 minutes crafting the perfect tweet about nothing in particular. Don't worry, it's research.

After that, take a 15-minute break to eat a whole pizza by yourself. The loop demands it.

Proceed to Step 2: Looping Through the Loop

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try the Alternate Loop.

Disclaimer: The Infinite Looping Strategy has been known to cause excessive eye strain, permanent scrolling damage, and spontaneous combustion. Use at your own risk.