STANDARD OPERATIONAL PROCEDURES

**SOP 001: Mandatory Daily Briefings**

Every morning, at precisely 0600 hours, all personnel must attend a mandatory daily briefing conducted by the Director of Operations.

**SOP 002: Coffee Machine Maintenance**

The coffee machine is a critical component of our operation. It is the duty of all personnel to report any issues with the machine to the Director of Operations immediately.

**SOP 003: Code Red Situations**

In the event of a Code Red, all personnel are expected to report to the Situation Room for further instructions.

**SOP 004: Procedural Whimsy**

All personnel are expected to adhere to the following whimsical procedures: