Good morning, citizens! Today is expected to be a day of extreme inky weather. A low-pressure system is moving in from the north, bringing with it a torrent of colorful, swirly patterns that will make it difficult to distinguish between reality and a kind of psychedelic dream.
A 4-inch ink-squall is expected to hit at approximately 14:00, with gusts of up to 30 miles per hour. Please stay indoors and keep your wits about you.
We recommend you stay hydrated, wear your best "I survived the ink-squall" t-shirt, and have a backup plan for your favorite color-changing tie-dye outfit.
For more information, visit Ink-squall Preparations or Inky-squall Safety Guidelines.