Integration Tests for the Ages

Welcome to the most grueling, soul-crushing, and utterly pointless integration tests in the history of technology.

• Functional Tests: Because Who Needs to Actually Fix Anything?
• Unit Tests: Where You Get to Write 10,000 Lines of Code to Test a Single Line
• Performance Tests: Because Your Users Don't Pay You Enough to Actually Care
• Acceptance Tests: Where You Get to Wait 3 Days for a Build to Fail

Functional Tests: Because Who Needs to Actually Fix Anything?

Our functional tests cover all the edge cases, except for the ones that actually matter.

• Edge Cases: Where 0.01% of Your Users Are Actually Using Internet Explorer
• Feature Tests: Where We Only Test the Features That Are Already Broken

Unit Tests: Where You Get to Write 10,000 Lines of Code to Test a Single Line

Our unit tests are the bane of every developer's existence.

• Fixture Tests: Where We Only Test the Stuff That's Already Broken
• Mock Tests: Because Your Code Isn't Even Worth Writing Without 10 Layers of Abstraction

Performance Tests: Because Your Users Don't Pay You Enough to Actually Care

Our performance tests are carefully crafted to simulate the exact 0.01% of users who actually matter.

• Benchmark Tests: Where We Only Measure the Time It Takes to Render a Page with 1000 Concurrent Requests

Acceptance Tests: Where You Get to Wait 3 Days for a Build to Fail

Our acceptance tests are the ultimate exercise in patience and despair.

• Sub-page for Acceptance Tests: prophets of doom and testers of despair