Welcome to Interdimensional Loans, where we understand that your dimensional debt is no joke. Literally. We'll help you traverse the multiverse for the perfect collateral.
Our loan options are not just any ordinary loans. No, no. We're talking about the kind that come with a side of existential dread.
We'll take all your parallel lives, merge them into one, and slap a mortgage on it. Interest rates may vary depending on dimensional flux.
Pay for your past, present, and future selves all at once. We'll make sure you don't forget to water your sentient, time-traveling garden gnomes.
Buy your way to infinite realities, and never have to deal with the hassle of a single life.
We're not just lenders, we're dimensional architects. We'll build you a reality you can be proud of... or ashamed of, depending on how well you do in your next life.