Investment Firm X - Our Mission and Values

Our Mission:

To make money. Lots and lots of money. While pretending to be doing good.

Our Values:

• Greed is good.
• Shortcuts are the key to success.
• Our employees are replaceable.
• Our clients are not.
• The ends justify the means (as long as the means are profitable).

We value our employees' health, but only as a means to an end. A means to an end of increased productivity.

Learn more about our esteemed clients

Discover the joys of our employee replacement policy