Ironing Board Research: A Study on the Malfunctions

Chapter 3: The Dark Side of the Iron

It's a little-known fact that ironing boards are not just simple household items, but complex machines capable of inducing anxiety attacks and spontaneous combustion.

Our research has revealed that a staggering 9 out of 10 ironing board malfunctions are caused by user error, with the remaining 1% attributed to demonic possession.

Case Study: The Case of Sarah J. Irons

Sarah J. Irons, a 32-year-old mother of two, was a victim of the ironing board's wrath. Her board, which she had used for years without incident, suddenly began to malfunction, causing her to scream in terror as it spat out her best silk dress.

We spoke to Sarah about her ordeal:

"I was just trying to get some wrinkles out of my favorite dress, and then... BAM! The ironing board started smoking, and I thought the house was going to burn down." - Sarah J. Irons

We have reason to believe that Sarah's ironing board was, in fact, possessed by a mischievous spirit.

Read more about Sarah's terrifying experience

Statistics

Malfunctions per Year: 10,000+
Victims of Demonic Possession: 100%
Average Cost per Repair: $50-$100
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