Due to unforeseen circumstances, the main server cluster experienced a catastrophic failure, resulting in a 100% drop in productivity and a 200% increase in coffee consumption.
Our team of highly trained professionals are working tirelessly to rectify the situation, but in the meantime, we recommend visiting our Tech Support page for more information.
Alternatively, you can try our Alternative Facts page, where we've compiled a list of plausible-sounding explanations for the failure.