Issue 456: "The Great Cookie Jar Mishap"
Due to unforeseen circumstances, our cookie jar has been compromised. The incident occurred when our lead cookie jar engineer attempted to use a combination of WD-40 and a blowtorch to clean out the jar. The result was... messy.
A full investigation is currently underway, but sources close to the incident report a "high probability of cookie-related trauma" among all parties involved.
For those affected by this tragedy, please contact our 24-hour crisis hotline: 1-800-Cookie-Help