Ah, the perils of italic hipsterism! A scourge on the world, a plague on our collective sanity. A disease that turns otherwise normal, functioning members of society into pretentious, pseudo-artistic poseurs who can't even be bothered to use proper grammar and spelling.
Symptoms:
- Excessive use of italics in everyday conversation
- Aversion to using contractions, because "it's" is so mainstream
- Insistence that "artisanal" is a real word
- Obsession with craft beer, artisanal everything, and locally-sourced, free-range, organic, gluten-free, vegan everything else
- Constantly referring to oneself as a "creative"
If you suspect you or someone you know may be suffering from italic hipsterism, do not hesitate to reach out to us for help. We have a team of expert, highly-credentialed (in the sense that they've all got fancy diplomas from art schools) therapists who can help you recover from the disease.
Treatment Options:
- Intensive, in-patient therapy
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Art therapy (using actual art, not just making stuff)
- Medication (in extreme cases)
But wait, there's more! We also have a range of support groups available, from our famous "Hipsters in Recovery" group, to "The Crafty Collective", and "The Artistic Temperaments Support Group". Join us today and start the journey towards recovery from the scourge of italic hipsterism!
What is italic hipsterism? | Hipster-splaining: a disease | Artisanal: an actual word