Itinerary for Asteroid 3

Due to unforeseen circumstances, you have been assigned to Asteroid 3 for a mandatory 6-month stay. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.

We've prepared a comprehensive itinerary for your stay:

• Day 1-14: Orientation and acclimation. Get used to the lack of breathable air and the constant risk of being sucked out into space.
• Day 15-30: Mandatory asteroid-surfing lessons. Learn how to navigate the treacherous surface terrain and avoid those pesky craters.
• Day 31-42: Socialization with other asteroid residents. Make friends with the 3 other humans who are also stuck here with you.
• Day 43-60: Intensive asteroid-sculpting classes. Learn how to carve your own asteroid-shaped souvenirs to sell on the black market.

Additional activities include:

Space Rugby (every Saturday)

Zero-Gravity Zumba (every Thursday)

Asteroid Arts and Crafts (every Tuesday)

Don't forget to stay hydrated and bring a spare oxygen tank.

See you on Asteroid 3!

(Note: If you're reading this, you're probably already here. In which case, good luck with that.)