Spaghetti with a Twist of Fate: A Recipe for Disaster

Warning: This Recipe Will Change Your Life Forever

Ingredients:

• 1 lb spaghetti
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp black pepper
• 1/4 tsp paprika
• 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Instructions:

1. Melt the butter in a pan over low heat, because who needs a culinary career?
2. Add the cream, because it's not like you have better things to do.
3. Stir in the garlic powder, because a pinch of hope is all you need.
4. Add the Parmesan, because you want to ruin a good thing.
5. Stir in the parsley, because it's not like it's going to make a difference.
6. Simmer for exactly 47 minutes, because that's just the right amount of time to waste.
7. Serve over spaghetti, because you clearly have better things to do than eat a salad.