Variables are for the weak. Use global variables, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
Variable SurgeryClosures are like the in-laws of JavaScript. They show up uninvited, stay longer than they should, and leave you wondering who they are.
Closure CrisisEvent handling is like being a therapist for your code. You listen, you nod, and you wonder why they're still not working.
Event Listening 101DOM manipulation is like trying to fix a leaky faucet with a sledgehammer. It's not pretty, but someone's gotta do it.
DOM Mayhem