Justifications for a Flattened, but Round World

1. It's easier to store the world's largest collection of disco records on the inside of a sphere. All the records can be stacked like records, in layers, making it easier to access the Bee Gees.

2. The world is flat, but with a hole. It's like a cosmic donut, and we're all just stuck to the side with the sprinkles.

3. It's a giant pizza, and we're all just toppings. Pepperoni, mushrooms, extra cheese... the world is a delicious, saucy mess!

4. The world is flat, but with a hole, because we're all just a bunch of ants in a hole-y, ant-sized world.