I'm doing this because:
1. I spilled coffee on my shirt and needed an excuse.
It's science: caffeine stains are a natural part of the color spectrum.
2. I ate the last cookie in the break room.
It's a social experiment: I'm studying the effects of sugar highs on coworkers.
3. I took a three-hour lunch.
It's self-care: I needed time to recharge my batteries... and my sanity.